So many days

I'm back home in England now, and that feels awfully strange. The last few days went by quite quickly, and were fairly boring really...apart from having lunch with a member of the the Afghan Royal family, he was the nephew of the last King. The problem with last days is that invariably people have to cancel on you and then there is not enough time to rearrange another meeting, which is what happened with me. Tuesday there seemed to be some kind of security issue and the internet was down for a couple of hours...for everyone, that usually means something is wrong somewhere in the world, if not within the country. I think I was also sad about leaving. When I was there, I kept talking about missing home, and now I'm back I wonder what I was talking about, sure it was nice to have some chocolate and see my sister when she picked me up from the airport...but I miss being with all my new friends, and having no heat and snuggling under 4 thick blankets and hoping to get warm. To making people laugh, to hanging out in restaurants that I have to wear about 3 layers for in order to even get in the door. To finally getting the chance to walk around the neighbourhood the day before I have to leave and meeting some of the shopkeepers. There is an ache in my heart for this country and I wonder how I managed to leave, and how soon I can get back...and yet at the same time there is a fear of how I can cope with the conflicting, contrasting, claustrophobic nature of living there.

Dinner and an outing

I can't sleep. For a number of reasons really. I had a 4 hour nap this afternoon after coming back from our trip out of the city, and so just don't feel tired. There is also a lot of noise outside with aircraft and not the civilian kind either. I got up early this morning as four of us were heading out of the city. Before we had even started however, one of the four dropped out due to potential stomach issues - you don't want to mess with that when you don't know where the next toilet will be. The remaining three of us piled into the car and headed out. It probably took us nearly an hour to get to a sign that told us we were leaving the city. Mountains towered before us and we hit the countryside. It is amazing the change in scenery and just how much greener everything looked as we left the city behind, soon we turned off the main road and head up the hills to our destination, we tried to go up the main road but they were rebuilding so we had to take the side roads which involved lots of winding bendy roads full of stones and bumps and several reversing back the way we had come in order to take a different turning. It was quite an experience. We went along to an old derelict house that used to belong to the old king and sits on top of a hill which gave us a great view, then we head to the bazaar where there was a number of shops selling pottery...something this area is famous for, and which they have only started doing again in the last few years. After doing a little shopping we headed back down to the city and lunch in a local restaurant with local people that our driver took us to. It was quite a contrast to dinner last night. Dinner last night was both interesting, comfortable and quite disconcerting. We had to dress up in our gladdest rags and finery and then cover it all up as we took the taxi over. We got there earlier than we needed to so headed downstairs to the bar area. At first it seemed like no one else was around and we got a little worried that there would be hardly anybody at dinner, but soon people started arriving and they were dressed as fancy as we were which brought no end of relief. Finally at 8pm we headed upstairs for dinner. We sat with a number of different people all with very interesting jobs and even stricter security policies in place, but somehow we had all managed to convince our security guys that we would be ok and we had all made it out. It's a strange place this town, dinner last night would not have been at all out of place in Whitehall or D.C and yet today's trip out of the city brought back the reality of what everyday people are living in. It's a strange country but one I am growing to love.

Cinderella

So, I'm going to dinner and a ball tonight. I don't know exactly what that will entail except I know I have to hand over my passport and go through about 4 locked gates before I can get in. However when coming here I didn't particularly envision going out somewhere fancy where the dress style is black tie and medals!! So today after a morning visit I went shopping. Before I talk about the shopping, let me just mention a quick something about my visit this morning. It was to someone that I had seen last time I was here and I was just catching up and seeing if anything new was happening. Turns out something new is happening, something big and deep and solid in the middle of their compound...a bunker! I was quite surprised at this because last time I was there that area was just grass and garden. It seems that they should have had a bunker in the compound for like the last 4 or 5 years, but they only just got the tools, permission, labour (I wasn't quite sure what) recently, and so now the bunker is being built. It actually looks like something out of a movie, I mean seriously. I wish I could have taken a photo, however taking photos here is pretty difficult to do, just because you don't want to get shot or something. I try and take as many as I can, but it all comes down to taking through car windows or while I'm moving in the car. Ok, back to shopping. I hate shopping. I really do. But I have nothing to wear for this evening, and I stupidly checked what the dress code was, so now I have no excuse for not knowing what to wear. Which means shopping. I was advised where to go yesterday, and given instructions on how to get into the shopping centre (which for those of you who have been to India, it's a bit like one of those kinds of shopping centre!). My driver drops me off and tells me he will wait, and so I hurry in, passing by angry police who are harassing the money exchange people. Once inside I look for the easiest, nearest dress shop that might sell my kind of dress. Considering what country I am in, they have a surprising lot of what the Americans call "prom dresses" and what we in England would call "evening dresses". I am not particularly interested in what it looks like, but more about the price, and the size, and how quickly i can purchase it. As I get to the first shop, the power in the whole building goes out. Well that makes it interesting to see. I glance at the price tags and scarper pretty quickly out of there, I'm not looking for expensive. I look up at the next floor, and as they are closer to the ceiling, there is more natural light coming in and its easier to see the dresses. I go into the shop, point at a dress that looks fairly simple, and ask if they have it in my size. He shows me the tag and we both seem to agree that it might fit, I ask if there is somewhere I can try on and he shows me this little cupboard with a lock on where I can try on this potential new dress. Suffice to say, I took off my headscarf and black abiya, but pretty much tried on the dress over the rest of my clothes, I wasn't going to think this was Marks and Spencers changing room!! It was a nice dress, it fit ok, but when I went to ask the price, it was twice what I was prepared to pay for. I said no, hoping he would lower the price, but either because he could see I was a desparate foreign woman, or because other customers had come in, he refused to budge...I walked. Now I was beginning to get desperate. I had told my driver I would only be 30 minutes, and I really wanted to stick to that. I walked into a few more stores, but they didn't have the kind of dress I wanted. Finally I found a store, and the sales guy spoke some English. He had a dress in the window that looked nice and then told me that he had one in black as well with sleeves - I preferred the idea of the black dress, but when he looked for it, he couldn't find it. So again, I went into the cupboard/changing room and tried on the dress over my clothes. It fitted - perfect! Now to the price again. It was a cheaper price then the first guy offered which was a definite bonus, now to haggle it down...however I was very aware that I hadn't taken tea (always a way to establish a relationship here) and was also in a hurry and therefore my haggling skills weren't really up to par. We finally came down to a price that was a little nearer to what I wanted to pay and a little less than he had started with. Great. Cinderella now has a dress. I wish I could take photos of this occasion this evening to show you all, it will be full of foreigners who are working here, it's a whole different life to what poses as normal life here, but unfortunately no cameras allowed. I'll try and write about it tomorrow though.

Two days catch up

I'm trying to think what to write about the last two days. They have been really busy, but just with boring stuff of visiting people really. I did get to drive through what I classify as "real Kabul" today where you can tell that very few foreigners come to. The last few days have been quite exhausting really, I have managed to meet a number of Afghans which has been amazing, most of whom speak quite good English, but I had a translator with me today who did some translating from Dari to English and back again. The funny thing was that when he came to pick me up from my guest house, both the chokidar (guard) and the cook stood disapprovingly in the gateway wondering who this new taxi driver person was, and not sure if they should let me go with him. I think they were definitely reassured when I returned safely in one piece. Tomorrow will be a whole new experience, I am going to dinner and a ball - we will see what this actually turns out to me, like any experience here in Afghanistan, what you think it may seem at first is not always how it turns out. This does mean I have to go shopping for a suitable dress, which I am assured I can get quite cheaply at the mall in Kote Sangi that has 6 floors in it. We shall see what actually happens. I am also allowed out of the city on Friday, and so there will be 4 of us foreigners piling into a car to go about an hour and a half out of the city, to get out and look around and then pile back into the car for the ride home. We are all looking forward to it, but it does mean that I have to have a security briefing sometime tomorrow before we can go. I need to get some sleep, as I slept badly last night with all the dogs outside barking at one another! Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

Happy birthday Sister!

The security guy said no to the visit I had planned out of the city, however it may be possible for me to get out, just not to my first choice. He is going to let me know. I am only here for a short time so in some ways it doesn't matter too much about me not being able to get out of the city. I am trying to pack everything and everyone in quite tightly in order to be able to visit with everyone. I met some journalists today. It was really interesting hearing their point of view on life here, in some ways a little jaded, in other ways still very open and positive. Tomorrow is a busy day and I get to have dinner with friends which is always a benefit. Wednesday is turning out to be a very busy day, but I think that's because it's so close to the weekend, right now Thursday I only have 2 visits in, but everyone should be back from breaks by tomorrow and so I may get more response from my emails than today. We shall see how it all works out, I know it will in the end. Today was my sister's birthday, and we actually managed a 3-way Skype conversation between her in London, me here and my mother in Suffolk - hooray for technology, connecting the family!!!! Anyway Happy Birthday little sis!

Foreigners

With Saturday being a day of getting to be with the Afghans, Sunday turned out to be the opposite. A group of us piled into a taxi and went over to the more expensive side of town and the Design Cafe. This is a place where all the foreigners and expats hang out, you can get pizza, burgers, wraps, cokes, milk shakes, steaks, chicken wings and other foreign types of food. For many it is like a haven after being in their compounds for a while. They are places that are considered safe for foreigners to congregate - although unlike the Flower Street Cafe that I visited last time I was here, there was no body checking for guns. We had quite a bumpy ride over though as they are digging up a lot of the streets in the area, and re-laying them, apparently for winter. They are also digging new drains on the side of the roads, which just consist of deep channels dug out for the water to drain in to. In the evening we went to a more local restaurant, mainly Afghans eating there, but it was about 4 of us foreigners in there. The place was called BBQ tonight and one of our party was quite excited about the idea of BBQ chicken, of course when it arrived she was surprised how unlike BBQ it looked. A reminder that she was in a foreign country provoked much laughter and a "I guess" from her. It wasn't that the food wasn't tasty, it was that it wasn't what she expected. That happens a lot to foreigners here, and I think it's probably true for most places people visit. What something is called on a menu isn't always the same thing that you would call it at home. The food sure is tasty here though! It is good to be back in Kabul and I have spent this morning trying to fill my days while I am here with meetings. Unfortunately it seems that there are prime times of the day that everyone wants, and of course I have to think about getting from one place to the next which is very much dependent on traffic. I am trying to see some different people from the last time I was here, although there are some old contacts that I am hoping to touch base with. I am also hoping to get out of the city at the weekend, and I have a meeting with my security guy after lunch to discuss if that is possible. I'm really hoping yes, because last time I was here every time I tried to get out I was stopped because of various issues. I'm just trying for a day trip this time instead of an overnight somewhere. I figure that bodes better for convincing the security guy....are they supposed to be this paranoid???

Visiting

We went out on Eid visits today visiting about 4 Afghan families.  It was very interesting to see how each of them lived, and how in some places the women and the men were in different rooms and in other places we all sat together. It was such a fun and humbling experience, I drank lots of tea and ate cookies, fruit, cake and some other things which were really tasty but I have no idea what they were.  We had to drive all over the city to see all these different places and it was fascinating to see more of Kabul.  There were lots of goat pelts around, but thankfully I didn't see any of the actual slaughtered animals.  I should feel quite exhausted because we've been on the go since 9am but I actually slept quite well last night.  Tonight for dinner we have a girls night where a whole bunch of the women are getting together for supper and a movie.  Much fun today and fascinating seeing so much of the culture!  Eid Mubarak 

Arrived

I have arrived and I'm at my guesthouse, at the moment tucked up under 1 sheet, 2 thick blankets and a quilt while wearing pyjamas and bed socks....it is cold here at night.   The day seems much warmer although I still felt the need for a cardigan.  There are a number of foreigners at my guesthouse, 3 from the US, 2 from Canada and 1 from Switzerland, it certainly feels international.  Its Eid here at the moment, so some of the guests were up earlier watching the slaughter of the goats and cows next door from our roof.  I, however was still asleep having arrived quite early this morning and finding myself quite exhausted...it is both the long flight and the change in altitude.   It certainly feels different being here this time.  I have more idea where things are, I'm not worried about getting lost, or the fact that I was in the car park waiting for the driver with no number to call him on- I knew I had arrived early and so just waited..about 10 minutes later he arrived apologising profusely, while I tried my best to convince him that I was early not that he was late.   There is a different feel in the air here, I'm not sure why, maybe it's Eid, maybe I'm just more confident in my understanding of the country and the situation here but everyone is more talkative and more relaxed.  I also found out that I can go out and walk around in the local area as long as I'm with at least one other person...such freedom compared to when I was here 5 months ago.

Waiting at another airport

Im at Abu Dhabi airport, and thankfully there is free wifi, otherwise I don't know what I would do. I was quite pleased initially that I had a 4-hour layover thinking I might have to change terminals, but no, everything is in the same place, and as it isn't a very big terminal that I'm in that makes everything close by. It also means that going to the transfer desk to check in for my onward flight was really easy and no problem whatsoever, and so suddenly 20 minutes after arriving I was all ready to go, only 3 hours 40 mins to wait. I've had something to eat, wandered around a little, bought some headache tablets (ah the joys of flying) and even Skyped home to say I'm one step closer. Again, thank goodness for free wifi. I have been able to check my email, seen an amazing email from a lady I just met a few weeks ago who wrote a book on Afghanistan, and I now have a long list of people that I should get in touch with. Life is sweet (apart from this blasted headache). I'm actually quite glad that I have a few days before I really need to jump into things, because it will be great to have some rest. I used to love flying but not so much. I am about to get onto my 3rd flight of the day! It was actually (or at least it felt like) it would be a bit touch and go that I'd even make it to Abu Dhabi today. My flight leaving London was delayed by 30 mins, and I only had an hour in Amsterdam to get from one flight to the other. Thankfully I made it, and without having to run huffing and puffing like other people I saw, to my connecting flight - next time though I'm going as direct as I can!

Tomorrow I fly

Tomorrow I fly again, which means I need to start packing. Yes, I'm going back to K-town as it is called by some friends there. I'm spending 12 days there this time, and will be meeting lots of different people. Some of the people I met before, and others who are new. I'd like to say I'm excited about going and in some ways I am, but I also have a horrible cold, and frankly just want to curl up in bed and stay there for the next week. I will be keeping up this blog again while I am away, just so that people can keep track of where I am and what I'm doing. Hope you enjoy reading again.

Just incase you are still reading

I head back to Kabul at the end of October. My flight is booked, and I am just trying to gather all the paperwork I need to get my visa - it's not alot it's just I've been on the move constantly and I have no idea where things are. I had the chance to spend 3 weeks in the States this July learning more about the history of Afghanistan as well as the politics, the language and the culture. It was fascinating stuff and I soaked it all up. I am hoping to continue with the language learning more now I'm back in the UK. I have contacted all the people that I got a chance to meet when I was last in Kabul and most of them are happy to see me again when I am in country. I think I am becoming addicted to this place, constantly wanting to visit and maybe work over there.

Goodbye

In the car, out the car, in the car, out the car.  This is what it is like getting into Kabul airport.  I was picked up from my guest house this morning at 6am and we had a fairly good journey until we neared the airport.  Then my driver indicated I needed to get out.  Bags stay inside he said, you go out and walk!  Thankfully I noticed some Afghan women climbing out of their taxis, and I remembered a conversation we'd had at dinner a few days ago with some other foreign guests at the guest house.  So I got out the car, went into the female search area, got patted down, walked about 50 yards and climbed back in the car.  About another 50-100 yards down the road we did the same thing, only this time my luggage got scanned as well.  Then my driver dropped me off in the middle of a parking lot and bid me farewell after parking my luggage on a trolley pushed by an Afghan man.  He then pushed my luggage and guided me to another car park that had buses in it, and my luggage was loaded onto a bus to take me the short distance to the airport terminal!  Next my luggage gets unloaded off the bus, and there is another helpful luggage trolley guy who takes my luggage and wheels me to the front of a very long queue (there are sometimes advantages of being a woman!!), I then got in another line to be patted down in another female search area and my luggage was scanned once again before I checked in.  I gave each of the Afghan trolley guys 100 Afs which is about $2, neither of them were very happy about it, but apparently that is still quite a generous tip.   I have checked in (though due to Internet access I will likely post this when I get home) and sincerely hope that my luggage is checked all the way through to London.  I will definitely be checking in Dubai that it is through.   Goodbye Kabul.  This is it for now, but I hope to see you again soon, and hopefully in the same state, or better than I left you!!!

All done

The last conversation over, the last checkpoint and security been through. The last handing over of my passport as id for going into yet another UN compound. Tomorrow I leave Kabul. It has been an amazing time, and alot of it wouldn't have been possible without Ali and Amir. They have been my two drivers. Amir is very quiet, speaks a little English and drives with the A/C on so that I am comfortable. Ali is the boss and is a noisy, young, crazy guy who always blasts the radio at high volume and asks me yet again if I like this song (we had Celine Dion this afternoon!!). Ali speaks fairly good English and seems to know exactly where everything is. Amir can never understand my English pronounciation and invaribly a phone call needs to be made either to my contact so they can give him directions, or to Ali who has a better idea of what I'm trying to say! They have shuttled me around town to places as diverse as the British Embassy, the UNAMA compound, different NGO offices, Flower Street Cafe and Chicken St. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't helped me get around. I head home tomorrow, today apparently the airport road would have been pretty crazy, lots of VIPs coming and going. I am hopeful that it will be quieter tomorrow when I leave!

It's the little things

It's the little things here. Covering your head when you go out and not making eye contact especially with the opposite sex Planes and helicopters constantly flying overhead, and knowing they are military! Toilet paper going in the bucket beside the toilet rather than in the toilet Blast film on the windows Guns and blast doors everytime you enter a restaurant or coffeeshop Barbed wire covering most walls Bullet holes in the walls Being unable to walk freely in certain areas of the city because of security concerns The call to prayer Weekends being Friday and Saturday Armoured vehicles UN vehicles Some of these things are seen in other countries round the world as well, but it's been the little things here that have made this place stand out!

Cancelled

I was supposed to have two meetings today and they have both been cancelled. As I am nearing the end of my time here this is less surprising, and also means that I can't rearrange meetings for other days as I will be gone. While it sucks a little that these meetings won't happen they were bonus rather than essential. The really good conversations that I wanted to have I managed to get. And really my time here in Kabul was really just to see how things were. To find out first hand a little bit what life was like here, and that in some small way I have achieved.

A new dawn

Its a new day here in Kabul. I just woke up to see the dawn rise over the city. The cockerel crows, and then the dawn chorus starts with all the birds singing as the dark tuns to light. You can hear the call to prayer, and then further afield traffic start up on the road. The dogs are barking as well,and you can hear the drone of an aircraft somewhere in the sky. I have today and tomorrow left in Kabul and then I leave. In someways I am looking forward to going home, there are things happening there that I don't want to miss. But this country has made an impression on me, and even though I know I haven't experienced it in the same way that others have, I still want to return, at least for a short while.

Hiking

Today is the second day of our weekend, so it means no meetings etc. I was invited to go out with some other visitors that are over here,and we all went to a nearby lake....somehow in my head I thought that would be quite relaxing. Instead we hiked all the way up a hill, which at altitude and with my level of fitness was exhausting. We had a great view (from a distance) over the city which was marvellous, and a good view of the mountains and hills surrounding the city as well. There was a restaurant at the lake, and we had a nice Afghan lunch there of quabli pilau, kebob, manitou and nan. It was delicious. After we got back, myself and another British girl decided to hop into a taxi (with the guy that has been running me around all week) and head out to Chicken St to do some more shopping. I know I got ripped off for my carpet, especially when he threw in a "gift", but I think we did pretty well at the jewellery store which was fun, and we finished off the day with sandwiches and drinks at my new favourite cafe - Flower St Cafe. All in all, it was a nice relaxing day. I have two conversations tomorrow, and then one on Monday (provisionally booked) and then I'm done! On Tuesday I head back home, loaded down with souvenirs and some amazing memories of this wonderful place.

Korean thunder

We have had amazing thunderstorms the last few days. Because Kabul is surrounded by mountains the thunder really rolls around and makes a terrific noise. The lightning also was fairly dramatic last night as well. Our cook in the Guest house Aziz, who is a marvellous cook has Fridays and Saturdays off which means we can choose to eat left overs or we can go out to eat. Today we chose to go out to a nearby Korean restaurant, and like most places that expats gather its behind a gate! The food though was amazing, and apparently fairly authentic Korean food as well. For all the expats that are here working with NGOs there are also those who have come in to run private businesses and the cafe/restaurant trade is a good one.

Night

Kabul at night is a very different place than in the day time. For one, the roads suddenly fill with trucks transporting goods all around the city, they are not allowed to travel during the day, and so as night falls and the road clears of regular traffic, the trucks come out. Tonight also I experienced the police checking cars, the have like checkpoints, and the driver slowed almost to a stop and a flashlight was shined into the car, thankfully we just got waved on, but the whole time I have been in country I have carried my passport with me, as you can be stopped at an time and asked for identification. The lights come out in the evening as well, and the hillsides of Kabul which are mainly filled with Afghan houses twinkle in the night with the light that comes from each house. I have tried to capture some of the landscape of Kabul on film, but seeing as I am really only able to take photos as I am speeding along in a car it makes it quite difficult to capture it all properly.

Locked out

I had thought about going to sleep, but the people next door have music playing pretty loud - ok extremely loud. I wondered if it was a wedding, but I think it might just be the celebrations of Thursday night the night before the weekend. Seeing as 10 or so years ago music was banned, you can't help but enjoy it with them...I can always nap during the day. I just chatted with a friend on skype who is currently working in India. I have compared Kabul to India, but listening to her talk about her experiences so far I realise actually how vastly different the two countries really are. I came home after going to a BBQ this evening, and realised that I couldn't get into the guest house. I was through the gate and into the compound so I was perfectly safe, I just couldn't get in. There are a couple of long-term people here, and then there are some other guests who are just here till tomorrow. I have the mobile numbers of the long-term people, so I tried calling them to see if they could let me in, both phones were switched off. I then asked the chokidar (gatekeeper) if he could help. He had no keys, but we could see that the lights were on in the lounge downstairs. We tried knocking on one of the windows but that didn't work, then the chokidar walked around to try some of the other windows. Suddenly from the front door I saw a face pop around the doorframe, then another face, and finally a third holding a laptop very tightly. I waved frantically and after a moment or two they recognised me and let me in. However, they had been terrified by the noise at the window and had wondered what on earth was going on, they were quite relieved I think to discover it was me! Suffice to say I'm glad those guests were stil up, otherwise I have no idea what I would have done!!

5 minute curfew

I was just coming out of the British Embassy this morning after quite a good meeting with DFID, when the guards at the gate told me, "please wait, 5 minute curfew". I must admit to wondering what was going on. In fact the road in front of the embassy had been cleared so that VIPs and their security could drive straight through without stopping. It seemed to be that an awful lot of cars went by, so I don't know if it was just 1 VIP or a number. The guards at the gate were joking around as to who it might have been, but I don't think anyone really knew. After about 10 mins, the traffic got back to normal (chaotic) and I was allowed out to get to my driver and my car!!

Meals

I have had some amazing food here, it has been cooked by an Afghan man but it has mainly been western style, there have been a few afghan dishes, but not much. However in our guest house, we sit round a table like you would in the West. Tonight I got to visit the home of some expats, and though we had a semi afghan/western meal, we ate like you would in Afghanistan. This meant, a bunch of pillow type things on the floor, then a plastic type sheet spread over the rug, and all the food, plates, cutlery and drink put onto the the sheet. It was really amazing to experience that. Their house was also in another part of town with lots of winding roads to negotiate in order to actually reach their house. We had a great time, lots of laughs and great fun, I also got a great view of the city from their roof which was amazing, with the mountains surrounding on every side, suddenly some of the passages I have read in the books about Kabul make so much more sense. A really amazing place!

Acclimatised

I was just chatting to my mum on Skype (hi Mum!), and she was talking about running some errands that she needed to do, and my first thought was how I can't do that here. Of course I can, I can call my taxi/driver guy and get him to pick me up, I then text my security guy and let him know I'm leaving the guest house and when I arrive at my destination, but the crazy thing is that my mum can walk to the end of her road and there is a corner shop she can pick up a number of things. I too have a corner shop which is just up the road, but I can't walk there...and it seems perfectly normal to think that. I am realising how quickly I have adjusted to life here in Kabul. This no longer seems like a Kabul Adventure, this seems like my Kabul life. I hope someday it will be...I would very much like to come back here, it is a place of adventure, of new experiences, of amazing people. I still have a year of Uni to go though, and with every new conversation I have here it seems like that year could change a lot in Afghanistan. The Afghanistan I leave in about a week, may very well be a different place this time next year when I begin looking for a job! I still hope to come back someday though...I think I'd be bored at home!

Delicious

I told my language teacher he was delicious today. It was purely by accident, and thankfully he has a great sense of humour, in fact he basically erupted into fits of laughter and said to me, you think I'm delicious. I obviously went bright red, and said no, no that's not what I meant. Suffice it to say it is certainly amusing learning Dari at the moment, although having not done grammar at school it is very difficult when talking about the subject, object and personal pronouns etc...I don't understand that in English, never mind in a foreign languge. I hope though that I can keep this up when I get home. Here there are opportunities to speak to people, although harder as a woman obviously,back home it may be harder! I have about 3 more days of conversations left, spread over a couple of days. It has been very interesting meeting lots of different people, and finding out their thoughts on this country. There is definitely a sense that people are drawn here by a sense of excitement, adventure and the frontierness of this place. I am already looking at ways of coming back!

Language

I had my first two hours of language lessons today. I have a teacher called Tamim, who is a young man who is admittedly a bit of a slave driver and goes quite fast. Thankfully he also has a wicked sense of humour, and we spent a fair amount of time laughing at my attempts to speak his language. I have learnt some of the greetings, and how to say thank you, which is always useful. I have also learnt how to say "I don't know Dari" and "say it again" - I have four more hours left, two tomorrow and two on Wednesday. It's not much, but it is a start, and I hope to continue it when I get home. Zarduk kujA s? - where is carrot?

Cup of tea and a muffin!

I'm hoping that by the title of this entry you may be able to guess where I finally got to today. Any guesses? Well I finally got to the British embassy, and was offered the title of this entry! In fact today was my day of meeting Brits! It was interesting to really get into what life behind the barbed wire walls was all about, and I had a great conversation there. I usually only plan for about 30-45 minutes for each conversation, I am very aware that these people are working very hard, and have taken time out of their day to meet with me,so I try not to stay too long, but sometimes they have a lot to say, or they just enjoy talking to someone who isn't a work colleague, and the conversation can go on longer. I also got to have a bit of a walk today - Chicken Street is known for selling lots of tourists type things, carpets, trinkets, jewellery, scarves, all the kind of thing that tourists want, and so I had a wander round and checked out some of the different shops and what they sold, it was very liberating...apart from all the stares and numerous taxi drivers wanting my fare. My time is very quickly coming to a close, and I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. I will miss this place, but I will also enjoy being home and being able to walk around easily! It's the little things in life that you notice when they are gone!

Halfway there...halfway gone...halfway back!

I'm halfway through my time here, and I am trying to read through all the fiction and non-fiction books on Afghanistan that are on the bookshelves here in the guesthouse. Currently working my way through 'The Bookseller of Kabul'. Finished the other book this morning. Trying to get together a last lot of appointments this week, not necessarily the easiest to do especially as they are some of the harder to reach and contact people. Got 2 conversations tomorrow, as well as 2 hours of language study, but I napped too long today and now I can't sleep. Thankfully it's fairly quite outside, no helicopters flying overhead or planes...in fact that might be half the reason why I can't sleep is that it is too quiet outside. I have just over a week left in country and already I am making plans and look for ways to get back here. Every job possibility, internship that could bring me back here is being perused. I hope that somehow it will all work out, all I've got to do is get through this Summer, then one more year at Uni and then I can return.

Language

Yesterday was a rest day for me as I wasn't travelling, and seeing as this week is getting quite filled up that's probably a good thing.  I just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, and it was amazing to read a book that is set in the country in which I am currently staying.  It makes the book come alive more I think.   I have just booked myself in for 6 language lessons to learn some basic Dari.  I realise that in 8-9 days I will be leaving, but I wanted to try and learn some basics of this language so that I can communicate a little better here.  I am already thinking about returning, and it makes sense to know the language a little better.  I also will be having language classes when I do a placement later this summer, and I always think its good to get ahead of the curve.  Today is a more relaxing morning, though I am meeting someone this afternoon.  I am waiting to find out if I can get more appointments with different people.  I sent out emails last night, but of course this being the first day of the week, it can take a little while for people to respond. It is hard to believe that my time here is nearly at an end, it is a claustrophobic place especially for foreigners where you have to be mindful of security, and live behind tall walls, barbed wire and sometimes with armed guards on the door.  It is also an amazing place, filled with a mix of amazing beautiful people.  

Shake up in plans

I thought I might be travelling this weekend, but circumstances have changed and instead I'll be staying where I am. While it is disappointing that this has happened, it also demonstrated how easily plans have to change and also how much needs to be put in place for just one person to travel anywhere. I decided to take a nap this afternoon and was woken up quite violently by my bed shaking. Seeing as someone had told me that the house would shake if there was an explosion near by my first thought was to look out the window and see if I could see where the explosion was. I thought that I was alone in the house and wondered how I would find out what had happened. Thankfully, they were other people still around in the house and they informed me that I wasn't dreaming but had felt my first earthquake. I just googled and we had a 4.8 earthquake 23 miles east of Kabul. I must admit I am certainly experiencing firsts of things here. My first ever earthquake. Life is far from boring that's for sure.

Essence

I feel in writing this blog that I'm not even close to expressing the essence of this place. I had to buy a new outfit today because I will hopefully travelling soon. This outfit covers up most of me and makes me basically invisible. It's very strange with the freedom I have in Kabul to know that even going a little bit out of the city I have to watch what I wear and basically stay quiet and submissive. It's times like that where I realise what a different country this is. At lunch today for about an hour and a half I could pretend I was somewhere else, and then the moment I step back out into the street and once again see guns and armoured vehicles I realise this is a very different and unique country. I went out with one of the expats this evening to pick up some icecream and snacks from a local supermarket that is basically for foreigners and rich Afghans who want foreign food. I was going because I needed to use an ATM and there was one in the store. Two police with automatic guns were "guarding" I guess is the word the store. I realise after being here for about 10 days already that I'm beginning to get used to the sight of guns, so that as I travel about it doesn't seem so strange anymore. It will be interesting to travel outside of Kabul just to see how things are different. I also need to try and get up early one morning and try and see a sunrise here, I'm sure it's amazing.

California dreaming in the middle of Kabul

I had more conversations today. One was over lunch, and as the other person had been in Kabul longer I asked her to decide where to meet. Flower Street Cafe she says. Well like anything in Kabul it's an interesting place to find. Most places where expats can go are behind locked doors and gates. So thankfully my driver knew where to go, he points out the gate I need to knock on and a guy with an automatic rifle opens the door. I'm ushered into a kind of waiting area, not outside but not in the cafe either. Another guy is there with a rifle, and another man asks to search my bag. He chats away to me in Dari, and then jokingly says, "no guns inside", I smile back and without trying to make too much eye contact say "no guns", I finally get ushered through another gate into what looks like a view from California hippyville. Turns out its a Californian who owns the restaurant. You get given a menu with salads, brunch, sandwiches, wraps and paninis as well as some tex-mex dishes and can choose what you like. Of course everything as a bit of an Afghan tilt to it, but its like a little slice of peace, albeit being guarded with automatic weapons. This is the case all over Kabul. You drive down a street and see high walls, barbed wire and gates, but behind these are homes, offices, cafes and even bars. It is truly a unique experience.

Photos

I have many photos I could bore you with, unfortunately none of them seem able to upload using my little iPad. Don't worry though, when I get home I will bore everyone with them, and try and upload the best of them onto here. Can I just say though that burst shots on your camera - greatest invention ever!

Carefully...

I am trying very much to be careful in what I write. It's not that I'm paranoid, but everyone here is careful. We had a dinner tonight with a bunch of expats at the guest house. Suffice to say at one point it descended into farce. The main thing is that there isn't just one country group represented in the expat community here, so sometimes you can have a number of different languages flying round the table and the opportunity for mis-communication is rife. Lots of laughter though, and I made the comment about being crazy. Our security guy looked at me and said "of course we are, why else would we be here!". My type of people. I heard another story today from someone else who works for a major organization. It was about the power of a single person. He was telling me about how development is as much about an individual response as it is a global one. He told me about someone who works in his office (for the sake of this story we'll call the man Bob). Bob is a local who fled with his family to Iran when he was 8, they were economic migrants, and in order to help his family he had to work, he washed dishes at a nearby restaurant. One day a wealthy businessman (or at least that's how Bob saw him) asked Bob if he wanted to go to school. Yes said Bob, so the businessman offered to pay for schooling and books and uniform ( it wasn't alot of money, but more than Bob and his family could afford). Bob kept washing dishes in the evenings, and went to school during the day. After a number of years, his family moved back to Afghanistan, he had to stop going to school, but because of the experience he had had he kept teaching himself. Long story short, Bob had the opportunity to get a scholarship to a University overseas, and is now working with this major organization. His thought is, I want to be able to offer others what this man offered me. One person can make a difference.

Rain clouds gathering

It looks like another thunderstorm is about to happen which is good because it is getting exceedingly hot here for little 'ol English me!  I am beginning to love this country with its amazing beautiful people and it's complex history.  I had two conversations today.  One with someone where I knocked on the front door and was let in, and the other where I had to send all my passport details plus details of my driver 24 hours in advance so we could get in the door.  It is amazing the diversity here, among the people, among the international community, even in the conversations I have, with those who are here and willing to stay no matter what happens next.  Yeah, the rain has started pouring down and with it comes that smell of freshness and coolness.  I have a little over 10 days left and I am trying very much to fill them up with people.  Phone calls seem to be the easiest way to communicate here, as email is not always checked, well not in enough time to get a response.   I am looking forward to seeing more of this city over the next few days, it's definitely fun being out and about more.  Today I saw a number of helicopters, and then at least 5 huge armoured vehicles, two of which I know were from my own country.  They are honking great things that take up a huge part of the road, which in this place is saying something as roads and traffic can get heavily congested here.  The rule seems to be that if there is a space on the road you try and fit your car in!  Seems to work well enough, I got to both my appointments earlier despite what looked like long delays.

Interesting conversation

I had a really good conversation with two Afghans today who work for an NGO. They gave me the usual spiel about what the NGO does, and it sounded really good, and then the conversation turned. Suddenly I'm hearing all about what they as Afghan citizens feel about the international community and the government and the future of Afghanistan. It was an incredible privilege I felt that I got that insight from them, they clearly wanted to share it with someone. At the end of the conversation they said to me, if you write about the NGO please run it through our communications department so that we can check it. If you write about our personal insight, you have our names on the business cards we gave you, please feel free to use what we have said. I really want to talk to more Afghans now.

Open doors and closed ones

It has been really interesting seeing who I have and haven't been able to meet while I have been here. Obviously I am in country for such a short period of time and it isn't always possible to catch up with very busy people, but I have I believe been quite lucky with who I have been able to meet while I have been here. There are definitely more people that I would like to meet, and more phone calls to be made to arrange that if possible. Most people seem to like the mornings, which I understood when I came home from meeting one lady today and got stuck in a whole lot of traffic. The thing with traffic here is that you just drive whichever way you want to. There is also alot of construction going on, so a lot of roads are being dug up as well, and then paved nice and smooth, but in the meantime alot of very bumpy rides. Tomorrow two more trips planned, I must admit it is really quite delightful to be able to get out and about and see more of the city, there are very different parts, although I am beginning to recognise some places as we go by them again and again, and again!!! In the meantime I will keep trying to contact people, and hopefully more doors will open than close!!

New experiences

I had a really good morning, despite the fact that I couldn't get to sleep last night because I'd taken a nap in the afternoon.  Finally at quarter to midnight after getting most of the way through an Agatha Christie book I finally got to sleep.   Today I went over to a very different part of town, it wasn't quite the old city, but it was much more bazaar like.  I went to visit an NGO there that is all about re-teaching the old arts and crafts of this country.  It was fascinating to see, and I had a great guide who showed me around their amazing facility which is an old building that they have restored to the old style.  It really is very beautiful.  I got to meet some of the students who are studying there learning woodwork, ceramics, jewellery making (including how to model and work with the gemstones) as well as calligraphy.  The lady who showed me around was one of two expats based there, and we had a really good chat about this country and also about my studies.  She was so so helpful.   I am back at my guesthouse for lunch, and then am out again.  They are repaving the roads around here, and it seems everytime I go out I come back to a very different type of road, more and more smooth roads.  The traffic however is crazy.  It really seems like you drive the easiest way to your destination and if that means heading into oncoming traffic, well that's just fine.  Thankfully I'm used to Indian driving, and so this is nothing new to me.  It was also interesting when talking to this lady earlier her experiences of living in country.  She had worked here before with a much larger agency, and had lived under permanent lockdown, which means you live, eat, work and travel with the same people, travel always with armed guards and protected vehicles.  This time she travels using secure taxis and still has someone security wise that she checks in with, but she is a lot freer in how she is able to move about and who she lives with.  It is she says a lot easier to be in country under these conditions than her previous ones.

Just another day in Kabul

Today Kabul was in the news, and not for the right reasons either.  I had a meeting this morning which went really, really well, and which involved going past armed soldiers, through an x-ray security machine, waiting in a reception area and then being escorted to the office of the person I was going to see.  It was great to meet the person I was meeting, and we had a fascinating and enlightening conversation, and he was very generous with his time.   When I am out and about I have to check in with my security guy letting him know when I have left the guest house and where I am headed, when I get there etc, etc.  As I was leaving my meeting and in the car on the way back I got a message saying there had been an assassination, and that i needed to be extra vigilant, if you look on the BBC website you can see more details, thankfully it wasn't near where I was, but it had a knock on effect with vehicles being pulled over and being checked by police, which slowed down the traffic, which is chaotic at the best of times.   I arrived back to my area of town, and went and visited with a neighbour expat where a couple of women were also hanging out, meeting, chatting, and drinking tea.  Then one of them just said in conversation, "I think that was just an explosion".  Curtains were casually drawn, but the conversations went on, and a quick phone call was made to our security guy to check everything was ok.  Turns out we had heard something different, that was to do with some construction happening nearby.   Sitting down for lunch just now I thought I heard what sounded like gunfire, but seeing as I've never heard gunfire except in the movies, it was most likely something else entirely.  Suffice to say, this is life here, everybody handles it, gets on with what they are doing, keeps going about their business, with restrictions, with consideration, but life carries on anyway.  As the man I spoke to today said "I have lost 16 co-workers since I have been here, but how many more Afghans have died". 

Slow news day!

I kind of thought it would be summer when I was here, but the number of thunderstorms that has occurred since I got here has dissuaded me of that idea.  I sat out in the sunshine earlier but now the clouds are darkening overhead, the wind is blowing and the thunder is echoing around the city.  These thunderstorms don't tend to last too long, but while they are here they certainly make an impact!  Today has been a quiet and relaxing day, a lot of emails have been sent to different people here that I want to meet, but otherwise just kicking back and enjoying the weather which alternates between glorious sunshine and windy, stormy thundering rainstorms.  

Life on the edge

Went to a BBQ/Party tonight.  If you know where to look in Kabul or if you are in the know, you can find little places where you can drink, smoke and party like you are in London or New York.  It was a very different group of expats that I met tonight then whom I have been staying with.  A much younger crowd, most of whom had been in Afghanistan at least 2 years, some working in the private sector, some with NGO's, a number with the UN.  There is a life on the edge feel about them.  "Afghanistan is the Center of the World" one girl told me.  I mentioned a book I had read that had first sparked my interest in Afghanistan, "oh yeah, we all know that guy" she said, her expression seemed to indicate that she didn't think too highly of him!  I thought this might be an opportunity to network a little, and it someways it was, but people also didn't want to talk too much about work, this was the weekend, and it was time to let your hair down and party.  I didn't stay too long, I'm here very briefly and I want the chance to get in touch with people.  I can party when I'm home.   I was asked if I was planning on working in Afghanistan, I said I wasn't sure yet, but that I was thinking of taking some Dari language lessons while I was here (mainly to fill the time), that means you'll come back I was told.  I'm not sure however that I could live on the edge like they do, not for the length of time that they seem to, I'm getting too old for that.  It was interesting however to meet a new group of people and see how they view and experience Kabul.  This is definitely a city that stretches you to your limits!

Weekend

Today is Saturday or maybe Sunday...sort of.  It's the weekend here whatever day it is.  Sometimes the weekends are Thursday and Friday, sometimes it's Friday and Saturday, suffice to say its a fairly restful day.  From where I sit in the lounge room of the guest house I can hear the preaching from the mosque.  It's been a fun day.  I went to a meeting this morning with a group of expats, some of whom (especially the men) look very Afghan.  There is a lot I can't write on this blog due to security issues, but it was a great and interesting morning.  Then a few of us went out for lunch at an  Afghan restaurant nearby.  I obviously had to take photos of everybody's plates so that I can show pictures of the food, there was also either a party or a meeting happening in the courtyard of this restaurant, and one man at the head of the table was playing a guitar like instrument and singing, I managed to surreptitiously take a photo or two, with my friends posing like I was taking photos of them and then my zooming further in, it was fascinating to see and hear these people, and my seat at our lunch table afforded me a great view, although as a woman here I have to be careful of making too much eye contact. I ask lots of questions of all the expats I meet, and everyone is always interested in what I am doing here, people wonder if I am coming to work here, but are also interested when I say I am a student interested in Afghanistan.   I would like to post some photos on this blog, but for some reason my iPad doesn't let me. Don't worry I am taking plenty of photos and will bore everyone when I get home!

Holey, brick walls, Batman!

I got my mobile today, which means reporting in to security every time I leave the house.  I have a bunch of meetings lined up for next week, and have now arranged a driver so that I can get around.  This makes life much easier here.   I spent today visiting the office of an NGO, it was very interesting, they work with deaf and blind people, and employ some of those people to work in their office.  Everyone was very friendly and welcoming.  On the way home we passed a chipped wall, I asked about it.  Turns out the chips were bullet holes, and there are quite a few walls around town like that.  Some are from back in the day when the Russians were in town, some are more recent.  It certainly makes for interesting conversation that is for sure.  

Morning

Slowly my time here is coming together.  I have been invited to a BBQ, and will also visit with others while I am here.  I slept restlessly last night.  Planes flying overhead and then just a new city, new bed, new sounds.  The birds woke me up this morning with their endless chirping right outside my window, and more planes flying overhead!  I am just waiting for the rest of the house to wake up for breakfast,and then my day will start a little more properly.  Of course I still need to arrange practical things like a phone and a driver, or at least transportation to get around!  That though should all be sorted today.  Hard to believe its Thursday already, after this week I've only really got just over two weeks here.  It doesn't feel like enough time, there is so much I want to see and explore!  Ps. I had made the settings on this blog so that no one could comment, but I will loosen that now, if you choose to comment please be careful in what you say though. Thanks.

Day 1

Was told not to worry if I felt dizzy or tired as I am at a higher altitude than normal.  Despite the fact that I flew over mountains early this morning, it hadn't occurred to me how high up I was.  I was invited to a birthday party this evening, it was within the expat community and it was really fun to go along and experience a little bit of life with them.  They were all fascinated by what I was doing, and I ended up having a long conversation with someone about development in Afghanistan over the last few decades which I must remember to write down at some point.   As we were coming home tonight there were flashes of light in the sky.  No-one quite knew what they were and that was when I think it finally hit me a little bit of what life is like here.  It may be that its lightning (I can hear the rain currently outside my window, so that's what it was), but it could have been a number of other things.  The kids here talk of thunder and lightning, the adults know when it truly is.   There was however clear agreement among people tonight that how the media portrays life in Afghanistan and how life really is here is quite different.  Families and friends at home can worry about events that are happening clear across the city but which are reported international.  Alternatively, things can happen much closer to home, and it's not reported overseas, so sometimes it can be hard for people living here to know how much people at home are hearing. I met the security guy who works with the guesthouse people.  I will be given a mobile tomorrow and will be required to report in both morning and evening.  If I go out, I am to report when I leave the house, when I arrive at my destination, when I leave my destination and when I get home.  Security is very important here, for obvious reasons.  I have been told that I can't walk around in my local area, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I would get completely lost anyways.   It's only 9pm here, but it has been a long day what with flying, arriving, getting used to the heat and altitude and I'm feeling exhausted.  Tomorrow though is a new day

Arrived

I have arrived, and safely, even though I did get a little lost at the airport!  I have taken photos as many as I could between the airport and where I am staying, at least until my battery ran out on me.  Kabul reminds me a lot of India, the traffic is the same, though there is definitely less of everything.  It is strange being in a place that at once feels so familiar and so foreign, I'm not sure what to do with that.   I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen so that I know that this is Afghanistan, and yet in driving across Kabul it was all so big that I think it is entirely possible that something could happen at one end of the city, and you not hear about it, except for the news!  There is a definite dichotomy between the locals and the visitors though, the openness of the houses and then the barbed wire and tall walls differentiate between who is living where.  There is also the difference in some of the shops as well.  Those where the locals shop and those for the visitors.  I hope to explore more of the city, I have a feeling that getting around my little area won't be a problem, it is further afield that may take a bit of an effort!!  It's worth it though because I'm finally here!  

Airport and paper

At the airport, all checked in. Dressed in appropriate clothes for Kabul, and just sitting and waiting to have breakfast before I go through the security and onto the plane. I have a window seat for my flight into kabul, and so I am hoping that there will be good views of the city and the country as I fly in. It's getting exciting now, to know I'm really going, that I am on my way, that I'm sure I've forgotten to pack something!!! I have so many questions, will I be able to get Internet? Is there frequent electricity? I know there are hotels in Kabul,and I've looked up photos online, so I have a vague idea of what it looks like, but still...it's going into the unknown. What an adventure. What a Kabul adventure!!

2 more sleeps and peace.

I suddenly feel a real peace about going. I've never really felt nervous, but as the time draws closer there is a rare stillness in me. I have to pack, still. I need to print out tickets, make sure I've got everything I need. Charge all my electronic items, and then on Tuesday I fly out from Gatwick, via Dubai to an amazing, amazing place. I hope I will have the words to describe, I am afraid I will not. I hope to take loads of photos, but I wonder if I will even remember to get the camera out and take the shots. Soon, though, soon. For now I've just got to get through 2 more sleeps!

4 more sleeps

I leave very soon for Kabul, which means making lists, packing, buying stuff I need....none of which I've really done yet. I have bought some clothes, and am getting them altered slightly, but that's about it really. I think it doesn't all seem real yet. I know I'm leaving soon....but it's just not hit reality yet!!! Ah well, after tonight only 3 more sleeps, hopefully that will give me greater urgency!!!

7 days and counting

I leave a week on Tuesday to fly to Kabul. I set up this blog so that I can keep people updated with what is happening while I'm out there. Hopefully I'll be able to log on everyday, all depends on Internet access really.