So many days

I'm back home in England now, and that feels awfully strange. The last few days went by quite quickly, and were fairly boring really...apart from having lunch with a member of the the Afghan Royal family, he was the nephew of the last King. The problem with last days is that invariably people have to cancel on you and then there is not enough time to rearrange another meeting, which is what happened with me. Tuesday there seemed to be some kind of security issue and the internet was down for a couple of hours...for everyone, that usually means something is wrong somewhere in the world, if not within the country. I think I was also sad about leaving. When I was there, I kept talking about missing home, and now I'm back I wonder what I was talking about, sure it was nice to have some chocolate and see my sister when she picked me up from the airport...but I miss being with all my new friends, and having no heat and snuggling under 4 thick blankets and hoping to get warm. To making people laugh, to hanging out in restaurants that I have to wear about 3 layers for in order to even get in the door. To finally getting the chance to walk around the neighbourhood the day before I have to leave and meeting some of the shopkeepers. There is an ache in my heart for this country and I wonder how I managed to leave, and how soon I can get back...and yet at the same time there is a fear of how I can cope with the conflicting, contrasting, claustrophobic nature of living there.